Yet Another Site I Will Rarely If Ever Use

But Then Again, I Said That About Twitter. Ahem.

  • 19th September
    2014
  • 19
Online activism changed me from a woman who actively put down other women to one who actively uplifts them. Online activism changed me from a white woman with unchecked privilege who actively oppressed people of color to a woman who has lost friends because she tells them to shut their racist mouths. Online activism has changed me from a woman who hated her body, to a woman who realizes just how beautiful she is. No one EVER tell me online activism isn’t good for anything.

sazziscooler

The above is so me. My gut reaction is to cringe at the phrase “online activism” but when you really think about it everything these online communities provide —  free information/literature sharing, community building, consciousness raising, and the free exchange of ideas and critiques are all (more within the self, more passive) forms of activism.

One of my favorite rebuttals of some asshat saying the usual “SJ blogs don’t even do anything because it’s not in real life” was when someone said "If it wasn’t for online activism, I’d still be calling women sluts and whores."

Same for me. And now I’m a sociology major and I go to a women’s college and constantly read/think/write about intersectional feminism. So fuck anyone who thinks online social justice conversations and blogs don’t “do anything.”

(via queerspawned)

What people say online IS real life. Online is just a tool, it’s just a medium of getting information across. This whole idea of “online isn’t real” is just complete BULLSHIT. As long as there are real words being written by people and read by people, it is real.

The Internet is a tool, a medium. It’s just as real as a newspaper or a book, folks.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 11th September
    2014
  • 11
Feminism is not about who opens the jar.

It is not about who pays for the date. It is not about who moves the couch. It is not about who kills the bugs. It is not about who cooks the dinner. It’s not even about who stays home with the kids, as long as the decision was made together, after thinking carefully about your situation and coming to an agreement that makes sense for your particular marriage and family.

It is about making sure that nobody ever has to do anything by “default” because of their gender. The stronger person should move the couch. The person who enjoys cooking more, has more time for it, and/or is better at it should do the cooking. Sometimes the stronger person is male, sometimes not. Sometimes the person who is best suited for cooking is female, sometimes not. You should do what works.

But it is also about letting people know that it is okay to change. If you’re a woman who wants to become stronger, that’s great. If you’re a man who wants to learn how to cook, that’s also great. You might start out with a relationship where the guy opens all the jars and the girl cooks all the meals, but you might find that you want to try something else. So try it.

4 ignorant delusions people have about feminism (via brutereason)

It’s also about making people feel like it’s ok to be themselves, however that presents in their lives.

My family did the above. My father cooks, my mother does the bookkeeping. They both taught me I could do or be anything when I grew up. So I thought I didn’t have any sexist messages given to me growing up.

Boy, was I wrong.

My father taught me that emotions make you weak. And my father definitely taught me that women are emotional, and therefore being a woman is inferior to being a man.

The above is not enough. It does not encompass all of feminism. There needs to be more.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 11th September
    2014
  • 11

These are the most NSFW asks I have ever seen.

  • 1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation?
  • If I'm doing it right, they feel physically about the same. But emotionally, sex is way better. Yay partners!
  • 2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated.
  • I don't know if I have 5 favorites. My tongue, specifically my tastebuds. (No, really, gets me hornier than anything. I am SO RIDICULOUSLY ORALLY FIXATED IT'S NOT FUNNY.) Uh... my mind. Definitely my mind. Other than that... I'm not one who just gets off on physical stimulation. I need mental with it.
  • 3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated?
  • Don't have one.
  • 4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals?
  • I know what this is supposed to mean, I think, but I'm of the scientific camp that says that orgasms happen in your genitals, even if it doesn't seem that way. Sorry folks.
  • 5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation?
  • Depends on the clitoral or vaginal stimulation. If they're doing it right, clitoral. Really, I like both.
  • 6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt?
  • Hurts. Well, not hurts but is VERY uncomfortable.
  • 7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot?
  • WELL acquainted? No. We're more casual friends.
  • 8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated?
  • Once again, depends. Giving or getting? Giving can be boring or fun, getting is usually great.
  • 9. Do you like having your balls touched?
  • Don't have 'em.
  • 10. Do you like having your nipples touched?
  • In certain ways.
  • 11. Do you like having your anus touched?
  • Yes. Oh boy rimjobs yay!
  • 12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)?
  • Not anally, and vaginally my hips are too narrow. I've never found someone with a small enough hand to get it in. Trust me, we've tried.
  • 13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)?
  • Yes. More than mild, please!
  • 14. Do you have any kinks?
  • Heh. Yes. MANY MANY MANY.
  • 15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella?
  • Heh. DEFINITELY YES. Proud member of the BDSM Scene for over 9 years. Kinky since... I don't know... VERY early childhood?
  • 16. Do you pee in the shower?
  • Yep.
  • 17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower?
  • All the time! Like, almost every time I shower.
  • 18. Have you had sex in the shower?
  • Yes. (Define "sex". PiV, only once. I'm always afraid of slipping and falling. Other types, yeah, tons.)
  • 19. Do you like being naked?
  • Yes.
  • 20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked?
  • Yes.
  • 21. Have you ever skinny dipped?
  • Yes.
  • 22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude?
  • Hmm. I've done tons of unusual things nude, and I've done tons of usual things that are unusual to be done nude. (Trust me, don't cook bacon naked. I've done it; it's not pretty.)
  • 23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity?
  • Yes. BDSM clubs and a number of nude beaches.
  • 24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)?
  • Friends, yes, family, not so much.
  • 25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts?
  • Oh, god, yes.
  • 26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)?
  • Yes, as a child.
  • 27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom?
  • Yes, I do, actually. I am, surprisingly, very anal retentive. It's taken me a long time to even be able to #2 in public restrooms.
  • #1, I've had to teach myself how to do it while being watched for partners who like piss fetishes (also for partners who like D/s & control & humiliation).
  • 28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online?
  • Yes, Yes, Yes.
  • 29. How many sexual partners have you had?
  • I was trying to figure this out the other day. If we're talking any kind of sexuality, and we talk about just casual fun at the club, I'm guessing in the 60-70 range at this point.
  • 30. How often do you masturbate?
  • Every few days. Although there are periods I'll do it a couple of times a day.
  • 31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it?
  • Hmm... mid-teens? Uncertain. Probably 16 or 17. I actually asked my pediatrician about it, but didn't really try it until years later.
  • I accidentally discovered sexual feelings from vaginal penetration via putting a tampon in. I shoved it in nice and deep one day and I had the most CURIOUS of sensations. I actually had NO IDEA how to process them at first. The tears just streamed down my face.
  • 32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)?
  • Laying on my back.
  • 33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc.
  • Hmm. I use my Hitachi and fantasize. I close my eyes and put my Hitachi on my clitoris and focus. I apparently get very still and very quiet as I focus so hard.
  • 34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)?
  • I almost always end up with imagination. Sometimes I start with porn or erotica, but sometimes I just start out with my imagination. But I rarely continue to consume media as I masturbate. At some point, the computer gets dropped and I just switch to my own fantasies.
  • My favorite? Masturbating to a partner dirty talking in my ear. : -D
  • 35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore?
  • Of course.
  • 36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals?
  • Oh man, I was so surprised that a person can move their penis by thinking about it. I thought it was the COOLEST, WEIRDEST thing EVER. I was like "WOAH! DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!" and giggled.
  • 37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend?
  • Not really. But I see lots of my parts all the time so whatever.
  • 38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear?
  • Briefs.
  • 39. Do you ever go commando?
  • Yep. When I'm lazy.
  • 40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep?
  • Nope. I rarely even have sexual dreams.
  • 41. How big is your penis?
  • I don't want to get a ruler out to measure it. (Note: my penis is an after market model from Tantus made of silicone.)
  • 42. Does your penis curve at all?
  • Yes, a bit upward.
  • 43. Which testicle hangs lower?
  • The left one.
  • 44. How big are your breasts?
  • HUGE. Srlsy. Do you want like a cup measurement? At LEAST a G if not bigger.
  • 45. Do you have long or short labia? Are they even or uneven?
  • Majora or minora? I guess average. The minora ones are the chicken waddle type. It's kinda cool. They're reasonably even.
  • 46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris?
  • Particularly tiny, actually. It's barely there.
  • 47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it?
  • The dick I bought is a circumsized one. You can't really find hard packs with foreskin.
  • 48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care?
  • As per sexual attraction, don't care. I would rather they have foreskin because I care about genital integrity, but obviously I don't hold it against my partners who don't.
  • My current sweetie has foreskin, though, and it's pretty big and SO MUCH FUN to play with.
  • 49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts?
  • Oh, man, that's hard. Butts, I think. But I do love boobies. girl boobs, man boobs, other gender boobs, it's great.
  • 50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way?
  • Depends on what kind of genitals. Depends on the genitals themselves.
  • 51. Do you like the way your genitals look?
  • Sure.
  • 52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup?
  • I don't know. I'd like to think so.
  • 53. Do you like your butt?
  • Meh, it's ok. It could be more round. It's big but I'm not crazy about the shape.
  • 54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)?
  • Usually a whole lot of nothing, but I've been trying to keep it trimmed lately, even though that hasn't been succeeding very well.
  • 55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair?
  • Shaved balls are kinda awesome, but I don't really care. It's their body.
  • 56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed?
  • I do. I dress to the left, always.
  • 57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people?
  • I think genital piercings are pretty cool. I'd love to get them myself but because of the way my body is shaped, they could never heal right.
  • 58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm?
  • 1 minute. Seriously.
  • 59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating?
  • I've tried a few times, with dismal results. So no.
  • 60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session?
  • 45 mins for the first one, I think? I don't pay that much attention. Longest sex session? Does the 7 hour erotic hypnosis session I did with one of my exes count? We did have sex in there a few times.
  • 61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)?
  • Hmm... 2? 3? I don't exactly remember. (I would LOVE to learn how to be multi-orgasmic.)
  • 62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric?
  • I think full body? I feel it all over sorta. (I'm not paying that much attention.)
  • 63. Spit or swallow?
  • Usually my answer is "neither: pull off first" because semen is one of the few things that actually makes me retch. But my current sweetie's semen isn't like that for me, and I would really like to have him shoot in my mouth, but it hasn't happened yet.
  • 64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble?
  • 65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on?
  • Depends. It can be hot.
  • 66. Do you "squirt?"
  • Sometimes.
  • 67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral?
  • Nope.
  • 68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.?
  • Yep.
  • 69. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
  • Hmm. Places accessible to others that are legal to have sex, yes. Truly "public" places where sex is illegal? No, not really. One of my few hard limits, actually
  • 70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you?
  • YES! Just 2 days ago! My parents' bed! (crossed that off my bucket list!) (Sorry, Mom.) (Sorry I'm not sorry, Mom.)
  • (I am sorry that the bedspread is in the hamper and we didn't have a chance to wash it. Apparently it got semen on it. But I can't tell her that. I just hope she doesn't pull it out of the hamper and put it back on the bed w/o washing it.)
  • 71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you?
  • Yes!
  • 72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in?
  • Hmm... my current house? Just my bedroom, actually. (Gotta get the housemate to go on vacation.)
  • 73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated?
  • Hmm. I've masturbated in cars and airplanes. Had sex? Well, the middle of my parents' lawn after dark the other night. That was kinda fucking awesome. (More bucket list.)
  • 74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross?
  • With anal, poop happens. That's all I'm saying.
  • 75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex?
  • Why, yes, yes I am.
  • 76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex?
  • No, thank god. at least not all out.
  • 77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)?
  • Yes.
  • 78. Do you own any sex toys?
  • Of course.
  • 79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy?
  • Yes.
  • 80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)?
  • Usually not, but sometimes.
  • 81. What are your favorite positions?
  • Missionary and doggie style.
  • 82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience?
  • Hmm. I honestly don't know. I think I probably blocked it out.
  • 83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner?
  • 84. Have you ever had any genital injuries?
  • Nope.
  • 85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection?
  • I suppose herpes counts. (Mine is cold sores on my mouth.)
  • 86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)?
  • Yes. A few yeast infections.
  • 87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up?
  • Yes. I'm pretty good at it.
  • 88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there?
  • Quite.
  • 89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement?
  • I'm not half bad but there's always room for improvement.
  • 90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)?
  • Oh god yes.
  • 91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam?
  • Yes. LDRs make this a necessity.
  • 92. Have you have phone sex?
  • Yes.
  • 93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do.
  • Masturbate
  • Fuck
  • Uh... write my name in the snow?
  • Is there anything else? I think that would keep me pretty damn busy.
  • 94. What's something you like about your body?
  • I like that flat place beneath my tummy above my thighs right on my hips. I just really like that spot. It's like the only flat spot on my body. It's pretty cool.
  • Also I have great lips. : -)
  • 95. What's something you dislike about your body?
  • Hmm. That's a lot of stuff.
  • It's more out of shape than I'd like. Oh, I dislike that I have lifting injuries that keep me from lifting weights. I miss lifting.
  • 96. What body parts do you find the sexiest?
  • BELLIES! Any part with fat on it, really. Oh man.
  • 97. What was your most recent sexual thought?
  • Didn't you just see me talking about bellies in the question above? ;-)
  • 98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.?
  • Of course.
  • 99. When was the last time you touched your genitals?
  • Today.
  • 100. Do you often imagine people naked?
  • Often? Naw. Sometimes, yes.
  • 11th September
    2014
  • 11
It’s never, never, never the woman’s fault. No man has a right to raise a hand to a woman. No means no. […] The one regret I have is we call it domestic violence as if it’s a domesticated cat. It is the most vicious form of violence there is, because not only the physical scars are left, the psychological scars that are left. This whole culture for so long has put the onus on the woman. What were you wearing? What did you say? What did you do to provoke? That is never the appropriate question.

Joe Biden on Today this morning (h/t Joy)

Sorry, but it’s the woman’s fault if she hits/pushes/whatevers first. Women can commit domestic violence. Against other women and against men and against other genders. To act as if women are always the victim, even if we actually do start it, is actually sexist, because it basically treats women’s physical aggression as not real, as “cute” and “weak” and insignificant, instead of what it really is… a human being enacting physical violence on another human.

Otherwise, no, it’s not a woman’s fault.

(Source: fullcredit, via chickgonebad)

  • 10th September
    2014
  • 10
http://thegeekykinkevent.tumblr.com/post/97069357412/perseidbadger-shutupaubrey-do-you-ever-see-a

perseidbadger:

shutupaubrey:

do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too

The feeling is even better when you see someone in the flesh who has a body like yours! Part of the reason

It’s one of the reasons I always run the Body Positive Swim at GKE. (Not to mention it’s an excuse to have a fun pool party!)

  • 4th September
    2014
  • 04

"I love playing someone who has so much integrity, who has so much joy and so much life—even though her life is now in prison. She’s locked up, but she’s able to build up joy anyway."

- samira wiley for brooklyn magazine

Oh, god, she looks so familiar, what have I seen her in? Whatever it was, I must have loved her or her character, because my emotional reaction to her is very positive.

Orange is the New Black? I think so, but I think something else?

Either way, whatever, she’s awesome.

(Source: fyeahblackactresses, via themightyif)

  • 2nd September
    2014
  • 02
http://c4bl3fl4m3.tumblr.com/post/96492910499/fatfeministfetishist-lochguinessmonster

fatfeministfetishist:

fatfeministfetishist:

lochguinessmonster:

monicalewinsky1996:

i am not here for body positivity blogs filled w women run by men

Why not though? They’re creating a body positive, often feminist space in place of their former state.

Isn’t that the start of what we’ve asked…

Yes but body positivity isn’t actually about sexuality.

If you wanna make a gross fat fetish porn blog, go right ahead. But don’t co-opt the body positivity movement in order to get off. Don’t piggyback on something that is about female empowerment and use it for objectification.

Like, come on — it is fucking blatantly clear that these dudes could give two shits about empowering women. They just want to get their dicks hard. If you can’t see that you are being extremely naive.

SO there’s a number of things I could say here, like body positivity is NOT just about empowering women (men have a lot of body image issues too), but you showed your true colors when you said “gross fat fetish porn blog.” The truth is? It’s not body positivity that’s really talking here. It’s fat fetish negativity. You have a problem with fat fetishists. Own it.

"Gross fat fetish porn blog"?!? HOW DARE YOU. HOW *DARE* YOU INSULT SOMEONE’S FETISH?

If you want to hate on fat fetishists, go right ahead (actually, NO, DON’T, because you have NO RIGHT), but don’t co-opt the feminist and sex-positive movements to do it. FETISH POSITIVITY IS SEX POSITIVITY. Fetishes are a form of inherent sexuality worthy of as much respect as any other sexuality. Fat fetishism is as inherently worthy as ANY other form of fetish. How DARE you call yourself a feminist fetishist (esp. a fat one at that!) and hate on fat fetishism? My sex-positive feminism is also fetish-positive feminism. ALL FETISHES.

I’ve only been writing about fetish-positive feminism, fetishphobia, and fat fetishphobia for ages now. (/me goes through and tries to find all the links /me wishes I’d tag shit better.)

Also, fyi, you can be a fat fetishist AND someone who is body positive. (Not all fat fetishists are, though. It’s not inherent, as quite a few have pointed out, if not in so many words) I am one of them. There are MANY others. And, yes, sometimes our desires and our politics form a confluence. But that doesn’t mean our politics aren’t pure (or, hell, for that matter, our desires aren’t real or valid or to be respected).

The rest of my followers? If you’re the type who hates on fat fetishes, feel free to unfollow my blog. Because I am blatantly anti-fetishphobic, ESPECIALLY blatantly anti-fatfetishphobic. Militantly, even.

Obviously, I need to write a long and ranty post on this, on why fetishes deserve respect, on why my fetish deserves respect, and how you can be fat positive, body positive, AND a fat fetishist. And then I can link to it and put the smack down.

But not now. Now I’m going to try to calm the fuck down and stop shaking internally from feeling attacked for my inherent sexual desires which have been with me since childhood and try to prep for my sweetie coming over. (We’re going to shower together. Woohoo!)

  • 2nd September
    2014
  • 02

gerbilfluff:

theaubisticagenda:

kay-is-for-kookie:

robothugscomic:

New Comic!

Apparently now that I’m not in school anymore I’m all about giant long-form comics. 

Identity is a really important topic to me, and the trope of ‘finding yourself’ is almost as problematic and insulting to me as the trope of ‘coming out’. 

I want to destroy the idea that some identities are less valid than others, the condescension that comes with ‘they’re just figuring themselves out’, and the insulting dismissal of identity exploration and performance in youth as being somehow not ‘real’, or as ‘attention seeking’. Fuck all of that. 

And beyond the fact that  ’inconsistent’ identities are really challenging socially, they ALSO carry these real, actual life and liberty risks; we’re expected to use the same name, orientations, values, languages, and identities across all aspects of our lives, we are expected to have normative identities that can be quantified and qualified and trust me, TRUST ME  when a person is perceived as having inconsistent or unusual identities they are being flagged in all sorts of systems for extra scrutiny and action. I know this from experience. 

So, yeah, this ‘one true identity’, this ‘finding yourself’, this ‘who is the real you’ stuff is bullshit. We are so, so much more interesting than that, and we deserve better.

This is very important to me as someone whose identity has changed a lot over the years - and I don’t just mean gender or sexuality, I mean everything. I am a totally different person than I used to be, and the world can’t really handle that. I’m not interested in my “profession” the way I used to be, and want to do something else. My hobbies has changed, dress sense, opinions on things like piercings, smoking, alcohol. Everything changes. Get over it.

This is amazing.

I’ve been far too many people for this not to ring true.

Amazing stuff.

I’ve found, personally, the “we ALL do this to some extent” has been extremely problematic in my life. I *can’t* do that. When I’m forced to, it hurts me. (Unfortunately, I can’t be fully me around my parents. And I’m starting to let them know that and make them think about that.) My life has been kinda forcibly created around making a space where I don’t have to do that, because when I do, I’m MISERABLE and suicidal and constantly self-harming and stuff.

I am ashamed I can’t be multiple people. That I can seem to only be me. That I can’t pass in many environments. That I can’t be sanitized for general public consumption. People tell me to be proud of that, but I don’t think they quite understand what that means. It has stripped me from my ability to hold down a corporate or government job. It has stripped me of my ability to earn a livelihood, and my ability to feel I BELONG in society as a whole, to feel I BELONG in this world. To feel I can GET BY like everyone else. I can’t. I simply CAN NOT. And I hate that about myself more than I care to admit.

As someone with BPD, I have a deep abiding need to be everything to everyone, and yet, I can’t. (My sweetheart wrote a poem about me about this very thing, showing me how I sometimes can be everything. It helped.)

Also the “changing from moment to moment” thing is VERY true of me with BPD, in that it’s not just mood swings, but my deep gut feelings change all the time, and that includes my feelings on who I am and what I am. There’s a reason all of my identity labels are ones that include many options: trans, genderfluid, Queer, polysexual, switch. I was going to say the only thing I know for sure is that I’m 32 years old, but with some of the ageplay I’ve been doing lately, I’m not even sure of that anymore.

(via thegenderbook)

  • 2nd September
    2014
  • 02
http://threedifferentways.tumblr.com/post/96457526753/sometimes-i-do-cripplingly-worry-that-im-doing-it

chickgonebad:

threedifferentways:

Sometimes I do cripplingly worry that I’m doing it all wrong and I’m just deceiving myself with these foolish card games and vainful wishing posing as occult roleplay.

And then I take a phone call that I would not have been able to answer much less have a chipper and civil conversation a mere six…

It doesn’t matter what others think as long as it’s putting you in the right direction. “So with thy all; thou hast no right but to do thy will. Do that, and no other shall say nay.”

Hmm.

I’ve been doing deeply moving religious roleplay with my sweetie lately. He takes on the role of Deity/Goodness Embodied and I am me. It’s very fulfilling, but I feel it really puts a LOT of folks off when I talk about it.

What chickgonebad said really helps and resonates. It really DOES put me in the right direction. So I guess it’s ok.

Huh.

  • 29th August
    2014
  • 29

wordsandloveandloveandwords:

deserthooker:

sihmah:

to recap: 

Straight male pc – cass, josephine

Straight female pc – iron bull, Cullen

Gay female pc – sera Josephine

Gay male pc  – dorian iron bull

Bi male pc – Josephine, cass, iron bull, dorian

Bi female pc - Josephine sera, iron bull, cullen

YOU LITERALLY HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF OPTIONS AS EVERYONE ELSE RIGHT NOW????????

Straight men are not accustomed to equality. For them, equality is a loss.

Bolded because this is one of the most important things to realize about representation. 

I think instead of seeing all those other categories as separate categories, they view them as “my category” and “not my category” and lump them all together, and think that they have less options instead of the same amount. (I’m not saying they’re RIGHT, I’m saying I think that where they’re coming from.)

  • 28th August
    2014
  • 28

After she came up to me and said, “I’ve been with my partner for 20 years… We would never get married because he’s on social security income, and because my daughter is disabled I have secondary income from the state to support my daughter. If I got married, both my benefits and his benefits would be reduced because we would become a double income family.”

She was explaining that marriage doesn’t work for poor people, and that it doesn’t work for disabled people. Having really simple examples like hers are important.

What if the LGBTQ movement fought for prison abolition rather than same-sex marriage? (via disabilityhistory)

So I remember asking my case manager when I got on disability if I got married, would it affect my SSDI? Because I was afraid of the above. She said no.

Now, I’m DEFINITELY not saying the above case isn’t true. It’s different in different circumstances, and it’s probably different if you have SSI vs. SSDI. And certainly it’s different because her daughter is disabled. But I just wanted to add another data point.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 28th August
    2014
  • 28
Just some thoughts.

baconpancakeslovesfatties:

ghoul-girl-feedist:

fetish-fat:

ghoul-girl-feedist:

ghoul-girl-feedist:

And I may well get some unfollowers for this, but that’s fine.

Something seems, to me, pretty wrong about sexualizing fat people who are clearly in the hospital, hooked to a bed. Especially sexualizing the fact that they have a health problem. I dunno. It just feels wrong. Especially since I…

Bringing this back because I’ve seen quite a bit of this nonsense on my dash lately.

I like to see those pictures. As people gain weight, they are more prone to having medical issues. To me, its a behind the scenes look at what really goes on when you are attracted to someone who is overweight.  I think its good you feel uncomfortable looking at them because it means they have served their purpose. Do those images make you question your attraction to fat people?

Heh, I don’t think anything could make me question my attraction to fat people.

However, the issue is not with immobile hospital-bound people, the issue is with the people that use them for “inspiration” or fap material. These people don’t know you’re doing it. If they do, and they’re fine with it, that’s a different matter. However, how do you think those individuals would feel being used for that purpose?


In comparison, imagine if someone had a smoking or cigarette fetish (I’m sure it’s a thing), and reblogged pictures of cancer patients making sexual comments or “inspiration!”.
How would those people feel? If their loved ones were to see, how would they feel?

Just think about the fact that those are human individuals you’re fetishising. That’s all.

I think this is a really interesting discussion and raises a lot of compelling points. From what I’ve seen on Tumblr in their other posts, both participants in this conversation care deeply about fat people and see them as human individuals.

I, too, feel uncomfortable about sexualizing those pictures, esp. when it’s clear those people do not want to be that size. (Consent is important to me.) However, I respect that everyone is entitled to their own fetishes, to what turns them on. I understand that people can not help what turns them on. So I have no right to tell them they shouldn’t get off on that. Lots of people get off to things they “shouldn’t” get off to, and it’s all ok, because the truth is, there’s nothing that anyone shouldn’t get off to. It’s all ok. (There are things, however, that one should not ACT on IRL. But that’s very different than fapping off to something.)

  • 27th August
    2014
  • 27
Ramblings and Resourses...

agentlemanandasavage:

Dom Speak

Dom Speak II Red Flags

Just because you call yourself a Dominant does’nt make you one…

Discipline vs Punishment

sub drop

Submissive Frenzy

Communication

Negotiating a BDSM Relationship

Am I a Top

How to Tell your partner you want a…

I think this is EXACTLY the kind of resources my sweetie wants for being a Dominant.

We were talking about our D/s relationship last night and he was requesting resources and role models for the kind of relationship Dominant I want him to be and the kind of D/s relationship I want. I told him I was always hoping to end up with an experienced Dominant who could help me figure that out for myself. There’s going to be a lot of trying things and screwing up, I have a feeling. Oh, well, I guess that’s how you learn. Still, with something like this that feels so important and deep, screwing up feels so much like utter and abject failure. :-\

(via agentlemanandasavage)

  • 27th August
    2014
  • 27

buttlass:

boys be like “YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE PAIN OF REJECTION” as if girls have never been fuckin rejected before

I wonder if the difference here is society teaches that a woman rejecting a man is a huge jab at their manliness, at their manhood?

OTOH, a woman getting rejected may be even worse, because society teaches that men always want sex and will never resist a woman, and therefore if you’re a woman getting rejected, you must truly be hideous (not just of looks, but of EVERYTHING) indeed.

*shrug* It’s just thoughts.

(Source: gamegrrl, via fatfeministfetishist)

  • 24th August
    2014
  • 24

seekerleftsock:

gettingup-fallingdown:

Liana made some little chronic illness slogan graphics that she thought might be helpful for people who have such illnesses to have on standby for facebook/tumblr/etc, or to print out to hand to people when explaining to yet another person is just too much!

These are great!

OH MY GOD. With a few word tweaks, this SO applies to mental disabilities too. Esp. the “it’s not nice to never study or work.” I would do ANYTHING to be able to hold down a full time job. You have NO FUCKING IDEA how boring and lonely it gets when you can’t work. I miss having a purpose (it’s one of the reason I’m so into D/s, esp. Service), I miss having coworkers, I miss having something that gets me out of the house and into the city daily.

(via chickgonebad)