Yet Another Site I Will Rarely If Ever Use

But Then Again, I Said That About Twitter. Ahem.

  • 29th August
    2014
  • 29

wordsandloveandloveandwords:

deserthooker:

sihmah:

to recap: 

Straight male pc – cass, josephine

Straight female pc – iron bull, Cullen

Gay female pc – sera Josephine

Gay male pc  – dorian iron bull

Bi male pc – Josephine, cass, iron bull, dorian

Bi female pc - Josephine sera, iron bull, cullen

YOU LITERALLY HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF OPTIONS AS EVERYONE ELSE RIGHT NOW????????

Straight men are not accustomed to equality. For them, equality is a loss.

Bolded because this is one of the most important things to realize about representation. 

I think instead of seeing all those other categories as separate categories, they view them as “my category” and “not my category” and lump them all together, and think that they have less options instead of the same amount. (I’m not saying they’re RIGHT, I’m saying I think that where they’re coming from.)

  • 28th August
    2014
  • 28

After she came up to me and said, “I’ve been with my partner for 20 years… We would never get married because he’s on social security income, and because my daughter is disabled I have secondary income from the state to support my daughter. If I got married, both my benefits and his benefits would be reduced because we would become a double income family.”

She was explaining that marriage doesn’t work for poor people, and that it doesn’t work for disabled people. Having really simple examples like hers are important.

What if the LGBTQ movement fought for prison abolition rather than same-sex marriage? (via disabilityhistory)

So I remember asking my case manager when I got on disability if I got married, would it affect my SSDI? Because I was afraid of the above. She said no.

Now, I’m DEFINITELY not saying the above case isn’t true. It’s different in different circumstances, and it’s probably different if you have SSI vs. SSDI. And certainly it’s different because her daughter is disabled. But I just wanted to add another data point.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 28th August
    2014
  • 28
Just some thoughts.

baconpancakeslovesfatties:

ghoul-girl-feedist:

fetish-fat:

ghoul-girl-feedist:

ghoul-girl-feedist:

And I may well get some unfollowers for this, but that’s fine.

Something seems, to me, pretty wrong about sexualizing fat people who are clearly in the hospital, hooked to a bed. Especially sexualizing the fact that they have a health problem. I dunno. It just feels wrong. Especially since I…

Bringing this back because I’ve seen quite a bit of this nonsense on my dash lately.

I like to see those pictures. As people gain weight, they are more prone to having medical issues. To me, its a behind the scenes look at what really goes on when you are attracted to someone who is overweight.  I think its good you feel uncomfortable looking at them because it means they have served their purpose. Do those images make you question your attraction to fat people?

Heh, I don’t think anything could make me question my attraction to fat people.

However, the issue is not with immobile hospital-bound people, the issue is with the people that use them for “inspiration” or fap material. These people don’t know you’re doing it. If they do, and they’re fine with it, that’s a different matter. However, how do you think those individuals would feel being used for that purpose?


In comparison, imagine if someone had a smoking or cigarette fetish (I’m sure it’s a thing), and reblogged pictures of cancer patients making sexual comments or “inspiration!”.
How would those people feel? If their loved ones were to see, how would they feel?

Just think about the fact that those are human individuals you’re fetishising. That’s all.

I think this is a really interesting discussion and raises a lot of compelling points. From what I’ve seen on Tumblr in their other posts, both participants in this conversation care deeply about fat people and see them as human individuals.

I, too, feel uncomfortable about sexualizing those pictures, esp. when it’s clear those people do not want to be that size. (Consent is important to me.) However, I respect that everyone is entitled to their own fetishes, to what turns them on. I understand that people can not help what turns them on. So I have no right to tell them they shouldn’t get off on that. Lots of people get off to things they “shouldn’t” get off to, and it’s all ok, because the truth is, there’s nothing that anyone shouldn’t get off to. It’s all ok. (There are things, however, that one should not ACT on IRL. But that’s very different than fapping off to something.)

  • 27th August
    2014
  • 27
Ramblings and Resourses...

agentlemanandasavage:

Dom Speak

Dom Speak II Red Flags

Just because you call yourself a Dominant does’nt make you one…

Discipline vs Punishment

sub drop

Submissive Frenzy

Communication

Negotiating a BDSM Relationship

Am I a Top

How to Tell your partner you want a…

I think this is EXACTLY the kind of resources my sweetie wants for being a Dominant.

We were talking about our D/s relationship last night and he was requesting resources and role models for the kind of relationship Dominant I want him to be and the kind of D/s relationship I want. I told him I was always hoping to end up with an experienced Dominant who could help me figure that out for myself. There’s going to be a lot of trying things and screwing up, I have a feeling. Oh, well, I guess that’s how you learn. Still, with something like this that feels so important and deep, screwing up feels so much like utter and abject failure. :-\

(via agentlemanandasavage)

  • 27th August
    2014
  • 27

buttlass:

boys be like “YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE PAIN OF REJECTION” as if girls have never been fuckin rejected before

I wonder if the difference here is society teaches that a woman rejecting a man is a huge jab at their manliness, at their manhood?

OTOH, a woman getting rejected may be even worse, because society teaches that men always want sex and will never resist a woman, and therefore if you’re a woman getting rejected, you must truly be hideous (not just of looks, but of EVERYTHING) indeed.

*shrug* It’s just thoughts.

(Source: gamegrrl, via fatfeministfetishist)

  • 24th August
    2014
  • 24

seekerleftsock:

gettingup-fallingdown:

Liana made some little chronic illness slogan graphics that she thought might be helpful for people who have such illnesses to have on standby for facebook/tumblr/etc, or to print out to hand to people when explaining to yet another person is just too much!

These are great!

OH MY GOD. With a few word tweaks, this SO applies to mental disabilities too. Esp. the “it’s not nice to never study or work.” I would do ANYTHING to be able to hold down a full time job. You have NO FUCKING IDEA how boring and lonely it gets when you can’t work. I miss having a purpose (it’s one of the reason I’m so into D/s, esp. Service), I miss having coworkers, I miss having something that gets me out of the house and into the city daily.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 24th August
    2014
  • 24

creepyold-kit-hands:

coelasquid:

throughthewildblue:

You cannot buy electronics with food stamps. You cannot buy cigarettes with food stamps. You cannot buy pet food with food stamps. You cannot withdraw money with an EBT card (food stamps).

Do you know what else you can’t buy with food stamps? Shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, tinfoil, plastic sandwich bags, toothpaste, cleaning products, tampons, pads, over the counter medications (such as Tylenol, Ibuprofen, etc.), and anything else you can think of that you cannot physically ingest for nutritional purposes.

Do you know what you can buy with food stamps? Food.

Do you know what it’s like to scrounge for change to buy non-edible necessities, use a credit card and EBT card (food stamps) during the same transaction, and then have the person in line behind you judge you for buying the ingredients to make a birthday cake?

People who disseminate false information about food stamps have never had to use food stamps.

Okay, but let’s talk for a second about how that one lady called turkey “big chicken”

You can’t even buy all food with food stamps. You just… you flat-out can’t buy “food that will be eaten in the store/any food sold for on-premises consumption” or any “hot foods” with food stamps—meaning you can’t buy anything hot, you can’t buy anything that gets blended together, you can’t buy anything “pre-prepared,” in most cases you can’t use your EBT card at restaurants. You literally CANNOT purchase a milkshake with food stamps, because it’s considered “sold for on-premises consumption” (which was ridiculous at the place I worked, because the customer had to mix their own milkshake themself with a little machine we provided them, and several people got upset—rightfully so, I think—that it wasn’t covered under food stamps, because they often only found out at the register after already mixing it, often as a treat for their kids). You literally can’t walk into a gas station, grab one of those hot dogs off their grills/out of the little heated food area, and buy it with food stamps, because it’s hot.

And when I say “can’t,” I don’t mean “if the cashier notices you trying and cares enough to stop you, they’ll refuse to do it for you.” I mean “it is actually impossible to do this.” I’m not even sure these people who disseminate false information about food stamps have paid any attention at all when buying things at the store, because what happens is: We scan in the customer’s items, into our computer. The computer has specific codes for the items and rules for what it will let you pay for things with. We scan the customer’s EBT card, and it tells us exactly how much of that price total can be paid for via EBT, and it will not include anything that isn’t food, and it will not include anything considered “pre-prepared” food. It does this automatically AND THERE IS NO OVERRIDE FOR IT. If our machines say that you can’t use the EBT card to pay for something, there is literally nothing we can do to change that, even if we WANTED to.

So no. You can’t buy iPads or cigarettes with food stamps. You can’t withdraw money from casinos or anywhere else with food stamps. You can’t buy dog food with food stamps; sometimes you can’t even buy people food with food stamps. I’m not even sure if you can buy “the big chicken legs” at Disney with food stamps; remember, you can’t buy “any food sold for on-premises consumption” OR any hot foods, and that’s both.

Literally the only thing these fearmongers listed that you can actually purchase with food stamps even if you are in goddamn cahoots with the evil liberal cashier or store manager is soda, and the judgement against people buying that with food stamps is classist fuckwittery at its finest.

So, as always, Fox News is actually flat-out lying, and hateful conservatives both don’t know what they’re talking about and don’t give a fuck about people going through shit that they will never have to go through themselves, and that they in fact don’t have even the tiniest clue about (not even via five seconds’ research; a list of things that can’t be purchased with food stamps is on the Food and Nutrition Services website) but still think they should spout off about to their TV audience anyway.

What creepyold-kit-hands said. I’m on food stamps, and I can TOTALLY vouch for this. 

Now what throughthewildblue said about not withdrawing money isn’t FULLY accurate, and that’s because EBT is not actually the exact same thing as food stamps.

*takes a deep breath, because this is long and complicated*

So. EBT = electronic benefits transfer. It’s a card. It looks and works like a debit card. You have a PIN, all that jazz. There are a number of different benefits that can actually be put on that card. Food Stamps (technically SNAP - Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) are one, and probably the most popular. But sometimes other benefits ALSO get put on that card. When I was applying for disability, the state of Maryland gave me a small percentage of what I would probably be receiving on disability to help me get by in the interim. It’s called TDAP - Temporary Disability Assistance Program. That money was put on my EBT card. I could go to an ATM or anyplace that did debit under a few of the different systems (I don’t remember off the top of my head… grocery stores were good) and withdraw the TDAP money, but NOT the SNAP/Food Stamps money. (Other programs are TANF - or temporary assistance for needy families, which helps families with kids get the immediate cash they need to live while other assistance comes through. but only families with kids. Because apparently adults don’t matter, only kids and their parents do.)

Now, yes, I am told there are places that will illegally ring up phony food charges and let you cash in your food stamps for cash (I saw it on Orange is the New Black), but that’s under the counter stuff, and I’ve honestly never heard of or seen one.

(Source: sandandglass, via anddeathsmiled)

  • 22nd August
    2014
  • 22
My name is not Annie. It’s Quvenzhané.

Quvenzhané Wallis (then age 9) correcting an AP Reporter who said she was “just going to call her Annie” instead of learning how to pronounce her name. Never forget.  (via thechanelmuse)

Darn tootin you will call her by her correct name.

(via chickgonebad)

Hellz yes. (BTW, how DO you pronounce her name?)

My real name is a 2 part name. And before I started kindergarten, my father told me “Your name is X Y. It’s not X. Don’t let anyone call you that.” And I took it to heart.

To this DAY, I can’t stand being called just X. And everyone fucking tries, even when I introduce myself X Y. So I get having to stand up for your name. (Also, everyone mispronounces my last name. And misspells it too. Hell, I’ve known my sweetie for over 2 years, he’s been my friend for around a year now, and we’ve been dating 2 months. And a few weeks ago, he mispronounced my last name and I was like “WTF dude? Come on! How do you not know how to say my name?” Esp. as his last name is always mispronounced and I know how to pronounce his right.)

(via chickgonebad)

  • 18th August
    2014
  • 18
rozczarowanazyciem:

bailey jayne | via Tumblr na We Heart It.

This is why my sweetie and I have certain things in place. It’s why we have various power exchange & authority based relationships (Dominant & submissive, Daddy and little girl daughter, Daddy & myself), it’s why we have a set of rules (when I’m feeling D/s-y, they’re rules, when I’m needing our egalitarian relationship, they’re strong suggestions), and it’s why we talk about this stuff. Our rules have been tweaked to benefit me the most, and they’re a work in progress. (I’ll post them sometime, and I need to get around to posting the additions in them.)

rozczarowanazyciem:

bailey jayne | via Tumblr na We Heart It.

This is why my sweetie and I have certain things in place. It’s why we have various power exchange & authority based relationships (Dominant & submissive, Daddy and little girl daughter, Daddy & myself), it’s why we have a set of rules (when I’m feeling D/s-y, they’re rules, when I’m needing our egalitarian relationship, they’re strong suggestions), and it’s why we talk about this stuff. Our rules have been tweaked to benefit me the most, and they’re a work in progress. (I’ll post them sometime, and I need to get around to posting the additions in them.)

(via angelwithhorns)

  • 18th August
    2014
  • 18

other-bronte:

well mannered boys who are into kinky shit behind closed doors

respectful boys who spank you til you’re bruised

calm boys who only lose it when someone else touches you

Fuck yeah romanticising irrational,violent jealousy, which is frequently a red flag for abuse!

Actually, I think only the last one is romanticizing irrational, violent jealousy. The other 2 are perfectly fine.

My sweetheart is a well-mannered, respectful guy who’s also one of the kinkiest, sickest fucks (who expresses it in consensual, risk aware ways) I’ve ever met. (In fact, he’s probably far more well-mannered and respectful than I am.) He would spank me until I was bruised (if I consented, of course) except 1.) spanking is a very hard limit for me and 2.) I have a low pain threshold and a high bruising threshold.

(Source: fawnbabe, via fatfeministfetishist)

  • 14th August
    2014
  • 14
cubicletocollar:

I don’t believe in that bullshit that a woman belongs in the kitchen. Or women are supposed to do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, vacuum, yadda yadda. Let me explain why this picture makes me happy and proud… baby girl wants and strives to be better and has recently expressed a desire to be more domesticated. I have told her that there is plenty of time for growth and when we live together she (and I/us) will have more responsibilities and duties. Her desire does not stop her. This was not asked of her. I came home from doing laundry myself to her waiting dressed like this and wearing a smile, dinner prepared on the table and she cleaned up right after. She wants to make my life easier. She wants to bring me joy. Her ways of showing me she wants to do more and be better are apparent and VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
Thank you for always striving. You’re my good girl. I’m a lucky man. You make my life easier and you bring me such joy. I respect you and love you. I adore you and what we have together. Simply put, you’re AMAZING. -T

About a month ago, I asked my Dominant to come over for dinner after work. This alone is not unusual… we were friends for a year before we started dating, and I love to cook, and I’m more wont to do it when I have someone else to cook for, so I’ve been inviting him over for dinner for a while. He likes my cooking.
What WAS unusual was that I asked him to ping me when he arrived at my apartment but before he came upstairs & to my door.
My initial idea was to be waiting, collared, in a submissive position, naked, with a drink in my hands, and dinner on the table.
But then our mutual friend and fuckslut messaged me about hanging out. So I combined 2 amazing ideas together.
Me & the fuckslut went out to get pedicures (he’s a foot fetishist and loves his submissives to have soft, clean, pretty feet), then we came back, made dinner (chicken, stuffing, green beans), showered, got naked, and I made a mixed drink for him. He let me know he was on his way up. We scrambled to the door, where we both sat in a formal submissive position with the soles of our feet exposed to him. I had her wear a collar and I attached a leash to it. She held out the drink to him, while I held her leash. He opened the door and we greeted him, simultaneously, with smiles on our faces & a “Good evening, Sir!”
Awesomeness ensued that evening. :-D

cubicletocollar:

I don’t believe in that bullshit that a woman belongs in the kitchen. Or women are supposed to do the laundry, clean the bathrooms, vacuum, yadda yadda. Let me explain why this picture makes me happy and proud… baby girl wants and strives to be better and has recently expressed a desire to be more domesticated. I have told her that there is plenty of time for growth and when we live together she (and I/us) will have more responsibilities and duties. Her desire does not stop her. This was not asked of her. I came home from doing laundry myself to her waiting dressed like this and wearing a smile, dinner prepared on the table and she cleaned up right after. She wants to make my life easier. She wants to bring me joy. Her ways of showing me she wants to do more and be better are apparent and VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

Thank you for always striving. You’re my good girl. I’m a lucky man. You make my life easier and you bring me such joy. I respect you and love you. I adore you and what we have together. Simply put, you’re AMAZING. -T

About a month ago, I asked my Dominant to come over for dinner after work. This alone is not unusual… we were friends for a year before we started dating, and I love to cook, and I’m more wont to do it when I have someone else to cook for, so I’ve been inviting him over for dinner for a while. He likes my cooking.

What WAS unusual was that I asked him to ping me when he arrived at my apartment but before he came upstairs & to my door.

My initial idea was to be waiting, collared, in a submissive position, naked, with a drink in my hands, and dinner on the table.

But then our mutual friend and fuckslut messaged me about hanging out. So I combined 2 amazing ideas together.

Me & the fuckslut went out to get pedicures (he’s a foot fetishist and loves his submissives to have soft, clean, pretty feet), then we came back, made dinner (chicken, stuffing, green beans), showered, got naked, and I made a mixed drink for him. He let me know he was on his way up. We scrambled to the door, where we both sat in a formal submissive position with the soles of our feet exposed to him. I had her wear a collar and I attached a leash to it. She held out the drink to him, while I held her leash. He opened the door and we greeted him, simultaneously, with smiles on our faces & a “Good evening, Sir!”

Awesomeness ensued that evening. :-D

  • 13th August
    2014
  • 13
lockedinsubmission:

mind-of-kitty:

D/s isn’t rough sex.
D/s isn’t whips and chains and gags and cuffs.
When we’re not fucking but making love, when we’re snuggling, laughing, talking, I know my place. I belong by his side, as an equal, as his girlfriend, and as his submissive. I belong in his arms and I belong at his feet.
I don’t have to kneel before him to know this. I don’t have to call him ‘Sir’ all the time. I don’t have to be compliant and accepting 24/7. 
D/s is not a switch that we turn off or on whenever we want. It’s a state of mind.
It is not always palpable, sometimes it is hidden behind playfulness and everyday life, sometimes it takes a time-out. But it is always there.
D/s is love.

Love this SO much.
People new to D/s get so caught up in the whips and chains and the leather and theatrics, thanks in part to mainstream D/s like 50 Shades of Ugh. Those things are nice, but they’re accessories to what always exists. I can be playing video games of all things with my Dom yet still call him Master. I mean really.
My dynamic is 24/7 because I literally never stop being a sub, and HIS sub in particular. But the vast majority of our days have nothing to do with sex. The power exchange is simply always present in the background and never leaves. Ever. No matter if we’re just relaxing and joking around or if he’s actually dominating me.

“When we’re not fucking but making love, when we’re snuggling, laughing, talking, I know my place. I belong by his side, as an equal, as his girlfriend, and as his submissive. I belong in his arms and I belong at his feet.
I don’t have to kneel before him to know this. I don’t have to call him ‘Sir’ all the time. I don’t have to be compliant and accepting 24/7. “
Oh my god, this is us. This is me and my boyfriend. I am his equal, his girlfriend, and his submissive. I belong in his arms and at his feet, beside him and underneath him.
It’s so NICE to see others who feel things similarly to me. I really did feel alone because so much of the M/s stuff just doesn’t resonate with me. I really AM a submissive and not a slave, and I am ok with that (at least I keep trying to tell myself that, but it’s hard when you see all this stuff about slavery and the depth of it and then you look around for others talking about the depth of submission and no one’s talking about submission, just slavery), and I don’t think it’s any less serious or meaningful than slavery.

lockedinsubmission:

mind-of-kitty:

D/s isn’t rough sex.

D/s isn’t whips and chains and gags and cuffs.

When we’re not fucking but making love, when we’re snuggling, laughing, talking, I know my place. I belong by his side, as an equal, as his girlfriend, and as his submissive. I belong in his arms and I belong at his feet.

I don’t have to kneel before him to know this. I don’t have to call him ‘Sir’ all the time. I don’t have to be compliant and accepting 24/7. 

D/s is not a switch that we turn off or on whenever we want. It’s a state of mind.

It is not always palpable, sometimes it is hidden behind playfulness and everyday life, sometimes it takes a time-out. But it is always there.

D/s is love.

Love this SO much.

People new to D/s get so caught up in the whips and chains and the leather and theatrics, thanks in part to mainstream D/s like 50 Shades of Ugh. Those things are nice, but they’re accessories to what always exists. I can be playing video games of all things with my Dom yet still call him Master. I mean really.

My dynamic is 24/7 because I literally never stop being a sub, and HIS sub in particular. But the vast majority of our days have nothing to do with sex. The power exchange is simply always present in the background and never leaves. Ever. No matter if we’re just relaxing and joking around or if he’s actually dominating me.

When we’re not fucking but making love, when we’re snuggling, laughing, talking, I know my place. I belong by his side, as an equal, as his girlfriend, and as his submissive. I belong in his arms and I belong at his feet.

I don’t have to kneel before him to know this. I don’t have to call him ‘Sir’ all the time. I don’t have to be compliant and accepting 24/7. “

Oh my god, this is us. This is me and my boyfriend. I am his equal, his girlfriend, and his submissive. I belong in his arms and at his feet, beside him and underneath him.

It’s so NICE to see others who feel things similarly to me. I really did feel alone because so much of the M/s stuff just doesn’t resonate with me. I really AM a submissive and not a slave, and I am ok with that (at least I keep trying to tell myself that, but it’s hard when you see all this stuff about slavery and the depth of it and then you look around for others talking about the depth of submission and no one’s talking about submission, just slavery), and I don’t think it’s any less serious or meaningful than slavery.

(Source: watching-the-subrise, via cubicletocollar)

  • 13th August
    2014
  • 13

Accountability

cubicletocollar:

As we’ve said many times before, T and I make a concerted effort to maintain an open and honest communication policy. Recently, I brought up to Sir that I wanted to be held more accountable for my actions (or lack thereof). If I break a rule, or don’t follow through on something I’m supposed to, I want to be responsible for it. Likewise, I don’t want to be praised or told I’m a “good girl” if I haven’t done anything to warrant it. I don’t want a participation trophy. I want to earn his praise; I want him to commend me when I’ve done something worthy of it. I want to be better, both for him and for myself, and I don’t believe that can happen if I half-ass things, or I’m allowed to “get away with” disobedience and rule breaking – even if it’s not intentional.

Read More

OH MY GOD GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

No, seriously, I could have written this verbatim. This is EXACTLY how I feel about ALL of this. Like, usually most articles I agree with some and other sentences I’m like “Not so much”. This one, every single thing stated is something that resonates with me, that I like or want or am.

It’s almost creepy. (Instead of being creepy, it makes me feel WONDERFUL. I’M NOT ALONE. I’M NOT THAT WEIRD OR DIFFERENT FROM OTHER SUBMISSIVES/SLAVES! YAY!)

  • 12th August
    2014
  • 12

Owned.

cubicletocollar:

“Serving you is an honor and a privilege. I am yours, Sir.”

Every night before bed, I sit at his feet and recite those words. A simple mantra, sometimes said between giggles, sometimes between yawns, sometimes somberly. But always said with purpose, and with meaning, and with a weight that is unexpected from such a simple phrase.

“I am yours.” It’s not uncommon to hear this and similar phrases traded between couples, both kinky and vanilla. But for us, the meaning is anything but vanilla. For us, it is a literal statement. I belong to him. I am his collared property. I am his toy, his canvas, his servant, his partner, his fuckdoll, to use and abuse as he sees fit. Because I am his, because of his ownership, I am complete. I have purpose. The hole in my life that has haunted me for years has finally been filled.

“I am yours, Sir.” The knowledge of his ownership brings me peace like I have never known. I want to serve him, to satisfy him and bring him joy. His wants are my wants; his needs are my needs. The desire to be everything he needs is one of the strongest, truest feelings I have ever experienced. I crave his control, his power over me. His use of me brings me happiness and satisfaction. Every word, every touch, every command shapes me, molds me further into what he needs.

I want to, need to, endure for him. I want to suffer for him. I will follow him down the rabbit hole as far as he will take me. I will trust him when he tells me that I can take a little more. I will trust him to know what I need, even if it’s not what I want. I want everything he can give me, and I want to give him everything I have, everything I am.

My heart, my spirit, my body, my mind, my choices, my service, my pain, my suffering, my joy, my laughter, my desire, my tears – all of it is his. To him, I sacrifice everything – my secrets, my walls, my fears, my insecurities. All of it is in his hands, and I put it there without hesitation. “I am yours, Sir.” Yours to command, yours to use, yours to control, yours to hurt, yours to love, yours to shape.

Every day, I surrender a little bit more of myself to him, knowing he will challenge me, knowing that he will break me, knowing that he will push me over that edge – and knowing that he will be there to catch me and put me back together, to build me back up into something stronger and better. Every day, his ownership becomes stronger, a collar tightening around my neck. Every day my submission to him deepens. Being his has made me a better person, a stronger person, a more confident person. There is purpose in my life where before there aimless wandering. There is an energy surrounding me, the pulse of the Universe saying, “Yes. Yes. This is where you belong. This is what you were meant for.”

He is my compass. Whenever I feel lost, I know that he is my north. When I am floundering, and can’t find my way, he brings me out of the darkness. I will always have a place in the world – sitting happily at his feet, waiting to serve. No matter where I am, or what I am doing, he is with me. Whether or not there is leather locked around my neck, I wear his collar. I belong to him, his most precious property.

“I am yours, Sir.”

OH MY GOD.

*THIS*.

So very very much of this. I understand this deeply, wholly, intimately, CONSUMMATELY. Some of it doesn’t quite resonate, because I/we do it differently, but it doesn’t matter, because the majority of it speaks of feelings, emotions, desires, thoughts that I have and have had for ages.

I just… my Sir, my Dominant is new at being someone’s dominant, esp. outside of the bedroom. I am not quite as new at being someone’s submissive, but still pretty damn new at it. I’ve never really had a formal, extended D/s relationship with someone. He’s never had one either. I have been in the Scene 9 years and have my first Dominant. He has been in the Scene 4 years and has his first Submissive. (Yes, I am capitalizing submissive there intentionally and for very good reason.) So the amount of trust and control I give over to him isn’t quite to this amount yet, because he’s not quite there yet. He’s not ready for this much to be placed in his hands yet, and that is OK. There’s no shame in admitting a less than full amount of mastery of something, to admitting to being a novice. In fact, I honor him MORE because he knows his limits, because he admits to what he doesn’t know, because he doesn’t try to be someone he’s not yet.

But I DEEPLY long for nothing more than for him to be there, so I can surrender fully, so I can be coaxed TO surrender fully.

I look forward to him having more emotional energy so we can deepen our D/s relationship and so he can (if I’m lucky) decide to take me on as his Submissive in a formal manner. And I can decide whether or not to have him as my Dominant, if he can meet my needs as such. (I truly hope he can.)

  • 12th August
    2014
  • 12
sandrino-partyoffive:

mattmcguigan:


mattmcguigan:

how to make friends


I am both of them.

I think I’m also both of them. More her these days than him, but I certainly have him moments.
This also reminds me of what my sweetie said he used to be like before he met me. (Not that I made him better, but apparently he had a huge social skill journey before I came along. I should ask him more about it. I should recognize it in him more. Mainly because he’s so GOOD at it now that it’s hard to believe it wasn’t natural to him. Huh.)

sandrino-partyoffive:

mattmcguigan:

mattmcguigan:

how to make friends

I am both of them.

I think I’m also both of them. More her these days than him, but I certainly have him moments.

This also reminds me of what my sweetie said he used to be like before he met me. (Not that I made him better, but apparently he had a huge social skill journey before I came along. I should ask him more about it. I should recognize it in him more. Mainly because he’s so GOOD at it now that it’s hard to believe it wasn’t natural to him. Huh.)

(via thepurpleglass)