Yet Another Site I Will Rarely If Ever Use

But Then Again, I Said That About Twitter. Ahem.

  • 27th July
    2014
  • 27

beautyinthebellejar:

It drives me crazy when I tell people I have PTSD and am struggling and they’re like, “Oh, you should talk to someone about that.” 

Like, first of all, I’ve done more talking than someone trying to filibuster Congress. 

And secondly, it’s a lot more complicated than that. Why do people assume if you’re seeing a therapist, you therefore must be getting better.

In my opinion, ‘getting help’ and ‘being helped’ are two very separate things.

"Oh, you were raped? You should get help for that."

"Oh, you have depression? You should get help for that."

Why does everyone assume that sitting down in some therapist’s office is actually doing anything? 

Why are you oversimplifying things?  It’s a lot harder than it looks to heal. 

OMG YES. (Granted, I’ve never been raped, but I have had PTSD and I do have BPD and depression that goes with it.)

And why does everyone assume that I’m NOT already getting help for that? Because I totes AM. But I guess that ties in with help actually helping.

Actually, I know why this happens. Because in modern society, that’s where the dialog ends. You have mental illness, you go get help, you get better. People don’t understand it’s a fucking PROCESS and seeing a therapist and/or taking meds is RARELY enough in and of itself. But yes, it’s all “oh, go get help and you’ll get better!” They never fucking talk about what happens if the help doesn’t help, or if the meds don’t work, or if NONE of the meds work. Yeah.

  • 23rd July
    2014
  • 23
I don't think you quite understand why people are so angry about you buying that video game. No one is telling you, you don't deserve medicine to live, but it seems as though you are taking advantage of the kindness people are bestowing upon you. Those 15 dollars could have gone into a savings for insulin, or towards essentials; instead it went into a game. When you are in a dire financial situation that requires donations to keep you alive, you can't afford to spend money elsewhere.

Asked by: inkstainsonmyhands

fatadditives:

tsaebydnad:

inkstainsonmyhands:

idislikecispeople:

inkstainsonmyhands:

idislikecispeople:

i didn’t spend the donation money on the fucking video game you asshole. leave me alone, i’m done talking about this.

It doesn’t matter where the money comes from, Kat, it matters that you spent money you could have otherwise used for your care towards something frivolous, and then flaunt it in front of people who care for your well-being. I think this conversation will continue, even if you aren’t a part of it, until you apologize to your followers. You violated a trust there. People trusted that you were in such a dire situation that you were on or near death’s door without their money. If that were actually the case, you wouldn’t have the means to buy that game.

You believe I’m coming from a place of hate, Kat, I am not. I just want you to see the error of your ways. It would go a long way into the relationships you have with people and your followers.

how about you go fuck yourself and i’ll go spend the money on what i fucking want. this shit keeps giving me way too much anxiety for my health and i want you to stop talking about me like you know every goddamn facet about my life.

I’m sorry if I upset you. That is not my goal. I’m just saying you should be more honest about your financial situation so people who are concerned for you don’t constantly stress about you. People care. I care.

Wow, look at this garbage human being. I’m so fucking tired of people like you, who say they care, but just want to micromanage how poor people spend their money. You don’t give a shit about this person. You just want to make sure they’re “poor enough” by your standards, so that you don’t “waste” your precious time and energy on them. I’m so exhausted of your kind of privileged  asshole people, who think they have the right to judge someone living in poverty for buying a few things for themselves. Because poor people are supposed to be perpetually miserable, right? Poor people aren’t supposed to have fun video games, or nice clothes, or cell phones, or anything that could bring us a moment of comfort or joy. Who the fuck are you to judge how this person spends their money? Do you not comprehend how humiliating it is to even ask people for donations?! So now, on top of that humiliation, they’ve got YOU on their back, thinking your personal approval or disapproval of their purchases should mean a damn thing to them.

I’ve given money to folx on this website who said they needed it. Guess what? I didn’t go back to make sure they spent it on the thing they said they needed it for! WHY? Because I am not a self-important shit stain. I understand that they deserve all the comforts and happiness that I enjoy. I understand that whatever their needs for survival are, is their fucking business, and I have no right to judge. If I were to see them on the street, walking around with a new clothes and new shoes, I’m not gunna say “HEY I GAVE $20! YOU SAID YOU WERE GUNNA GET TOP SURGERY!” because I understand how poverty works, and I understand that when you are poor certain things hold value is worth far more than the money spent to have them. Happiness? Self-confidence? Comfort?Freedom? Safety? Those are valuable goods to ALL people, but poor people are the only ones expected to put a price on them.

What self-designated gatekeepers like you ultimately believe, what you have been conditioned to believe, is that the poor CHOOSE to be poor. You believe poor people are fucking lazy liars, who just want hand outs without the work or effort that Hard Working People Who Contribute To Society put in. You believe you will never be poor (or that if you somehow were, you’d “do it right”). You believe poor people are not smart. 

Shame on you. You don’t care. You’re just a judemental classist asshole. Fuck every single illogical, judgmental, self righteous douchebag like you, who acts like poor people are supposed to be more than satisfied with some minimalist lifestyle, when you yourself would NEVER be happy with that. Fuck you for looking down on poor people, and passing off your abuse and harassment as concern. You are NOT a good person. Fuck you.

Reblogging for bolded commentary. Thank you. 

Taking care of our mental health IS taking care of our health. And that means purchasing things so we can have enjoyment and relaxation. Because stress fucking KILLS. And makes us SICK. So buying a video game IS taking care of your health.

  • 23rd July
    2014
  • 23
womanistgrrrlcollective:

Will There Be Justice For Jada?
TW: Rape 
Source: Think Progress
In an incident that shares several elements with the infamous Steubenville rape case that made national headlines last year, a 16-year-old girl from Texas says that photos of her unconscious body went viral online after she was drugged and raped at a party with her fellow high schoolers. But the victim isn’t backing down. She’s speaking out about what happened to her, telling her story to local press and asking to be identified as Jada.
After other teens started mocking her online — sharing images of themselves splayed out on the floor in the same pose as Jada’s unconscious body under the hashtag #jadapose — the victim decided to speak out. She sat down with local outlet KHOU 11 to tell her side. “I’m just angry,” Jada said.
According to Jada, she was invited to a party at a fellow high schooler’s house. The boy who was hosting the party gave her a drink that she believes was spiked with a drug that made her lose consciousness. She passed out and doesn’t remember what happened next. But then she started seeing evidence of her sexual assault circulated online, and some of her peers started texting her to ask her if she was okay.
Then, #jadapose started turning her rape into a joke. When the Houston Press reached out to one of the individuals who shared a popular #jadapose photo, he said that he didn’t personally know Jada and was simply “bored at 1 a.m. and decided to wake up my (Twitter timeline).”
Jada decided to share her name and her story with the press because she has nothing to hide anymore. “Everybody has already seen my face and my body,” she said, “but that’s not what I am and who I am.” Nonetheless, the social media firestorm has taken a toll on her. She says she now wants to be homeschooled.
“No one’s daughter deserved this,” her mother, who asked not to be identified by name, told KHOU 11 News. “No human being deserved this.”
Like Jada, the Steubenville rape victim found out about her assault on social media, after images of her peers dragging her unconscious body were posted on Instagram and Twitter. A video of her attackers laughing and joking about her victimization — saying she was “deader than Trayvon Martin” — horrified people across the nation who wondered why these boys thought violating someone’s consent was so funny. After the internet hacktivist group Anonymous got involved in the case, and started demanding justice for the Steubenville victim, much of the country started paying attention to the criminal proceedings in the tiny Ohio town.
But, while Steubenville certainly helped spark a national conversationabout issues related to rape culture, it’s worth remembering that it’s hardly the only egregious example of sexual assault, victimization, and cyberbullying. The increased awareness to the subject at the time didn’t change the fact that the majority of teens still don’t learn anything abouthealthy relationships or sexual consent, and most young girls actually think of sexual violence as normal. Cases like Jada’s are happening all across thecountry, often exacerbated by kids who think it’s funny to post about it on social media.
The Houston police is currently investigating Jada’s allegations, and no arrests have yet been made. The alleged perpetrator has denied that a sexual assault occurred, referring to Jada as a “hoe” who “snitched.”

So I personally have always hated the term “rape culture”. Not because I disagreed with any of the things that people who use the term “rape culture” have said, but just because I always bought into the definition of culture as “the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group” (taken from my Apple’s dictionary program). There is no people or social group who define themselves as the “rape people”. I thought the term “culture” was incorrect and we needed to find a better term.
This has been whittled away for probably the past year. I wanted to say “RC doesn’t have its own music” but it does. It is in the arts. It is in the customs. And the social institutions. Probably not the achievements, though. (certainly there have been things done that stand out as prime examples of RC, but I don’t want to call them “achievements”) RC doesn’t have its own cuisine. (But then, geeks do not have their own cuisine, either, and we are most certainly our own culture.)
At this point, I think this article was the last straw.
Yes, rape culture is a thing, and I agree with the usage of the word “culture”, even if there is no such thing as “the rape people”. Sadly, most to all of us are part of that people. It’s all a matter of extent.

womanistgrrrlcollective:

Will There Be Justice For Jada?

TW: Rape 

Source: Think Progress

In an incident that shares several elements with the infamous Steubenville rape case that made national headlines last year, a 16-year-old girl from Texas says that photos of her unconscious body went viral online after she was drugged and raped at a party with her fellow high schoolers. But the victim isn’t backing down. She’s speaking out about what happened to her, telling her story to local press and asking to be identified as Jada.

After other teens started mocking her online — sharing images of themselves splayed out on the floor in the same pose as Jada’s unconscious body under the hashtag #jadapose — the victim decided to speak out. She sat down with local outlet KHOU 11 to tell her side. “I’m just angry,” Jada said.

According to Jada, she was invited to a party at a fellow high schooler’s house. The boy who was hosting the party gave her a drink that she believes was spiked with a drug that made her lose consciousness. She passed out and doesn’t remember what happened next. But then she started seeing evidence of her sexual assault circulated online, and some of her peers started texting her to ask her if she was okay.

Then, #jadapose started turning her rape into a joke. When the Houston Press reached out to one of the individuals who shared a popular #jadapose photo, he said that he didn’t personally know Jada and was simply “bored at 1 a.m. and decided to wake up my (Twitter timeline).”

Jada decided to share her name and her story with the press because she has nothing to hide anymore. “Everybody has already seen my face and my body,” she said, “but that’s not what I am and who I am.” Nonetheless, the social media firestorm has taken a toll on her. She says she now wants to be homeschooled.

“No one’s daughter deserved this,” her mother, who asked not to be identified by name, told KHOU 11 News. “No human being deserved this.”

Like Jada, the Steubenville rape victim found out about her assault on social media, after images of her peers dragging her unconscious body were posted on Instagram and Twitter. A video of her attackers laughing and joking about her victimization — saying she was “deader than Trayvon Martin” — horrified people across the nation who wondered why these boys thought violating someone’s consent was so funny. After the internet hacktivist group Anonymous got involved in the case, and started demanding justice for the Steubenville victim, much of the country started paying attention to the criminal proceedings in the tiny Ohio town.

But, while Steubenville certainly helped spark a national conversationabout issues related to rape culture, it’s worth remembering that it’s hardly the only egregious example of sexual assault, victimization, and cyberbullying. The increased awareness to the subject at the time didn’t change the fact that the majority of teens still don’t learn anything abouthealthy relationships or sexual consent, and most young girls actually think of sexual violence as normal. Cases like Jada’s are happening all across thecountry, often exacerbated by kids who think it’s funny to post about it on social media.

The Houston police is currently investigating Jada’s allegations, and no arrests have yet been made. The alleged perpetrator has denied that a sexual assault occurred, referring to Jada as a “hoe” who “snitched.”

So I personally have always hated the term “rape culture”. Not because I disagreed with any of the things that people who use the term “rape culture” have said, but just because I always bought into the definition of culture as “the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group” (taken from my Apple’s dictionary program). There is no people or social group who define themselves as the “rape people”. I thought the term “culture” was incorrect and we needed to find a better term.

This has been whittled away for probably the past year. I wanted to say “RC doesn’t have its own music” but it does. It is in the arts. It is in the customs. And the social institutions. Probably not the achievements, though. (certainly there have been things done that stand out as prime examples of RC, but I don’t want to call them “achievements”) RC doesn’t have its own cuisine. (But then, geeks do not have their own cuisine, either, and we are most certainly our own culture.)

At this point, I think this article was the last straw.

Yes, rape culture is a thing, and I agree with the usage of the word “culture”, even if there is no such thing as “the rape people”. Sadly, most to all of us are part of that people. It’s all a matter of extent.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 23rd July
    2014
  • 23

adventuresingay:

On this, the third episode of ‘2 Gays on a Couch’, Joe and I examine the ambiguity of gay friendships. Check out the vid and let us know your thoughts on the matter!

This is interesting for me because I have the same experience. Most of my friends are guys, and we did date/sleep with each other first, and there is that thing where you meet a guy and you’re like “are we going to be friends or date”. In fact, with my current sweetie, that’s exactly how it happened, and I kept wanting him to date me, a lot when he first moved to town and then just occasionally for the rest of the 9 months he lived in my area and we were friends… and then we grew very close rather quickly and shared things with each other that made me fall in love with him and then a few weeks later he fell in love with me. So, yeah, I get that a lot and I’m not a gay man and the men I date aren’t gay men. So… interesting.

  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04
"...acceptance ends abruptly when our mental illness becomes inconvenient"

churchrat:

people are very accepting of depression and anxiety and other mental illness until they run across someone who doesn’t fit the narrative of “aw poor sad beautiful shy girl who’s perfect in every way except she can’t see it but if you tell her you love her she’ll magically be cured”

because guess what it’s not that easy it’s not that simple it doesn’t work that way

mentally ill people are hard to deal with

we are by turns annoying and aggressive and shy and manic and depressed

we are not always fun to be around

we are difficult

and guess what? telling us we’re beautiful or we shouldn’t feel sad or we’re loved isn’t going to magically fix that

and god forbid we be crazy in a way that’s irritating to you

because the same people who claim to be there “if anyone needs anything at all!!!! <333” are usually the ones who are dismissive, cruel, who laugh when, god forbid, someone ISN’T that shy, sad, broken teenage girl who just needs someone to love her

and that acceptance ends abruptly when our mental illness becomes inconvenient

and that’s just fucked up.

(via xbox-one-official)

YES. THIS.

I’ve had friends who are like “however I can help!” and then when I get out of the hospital diversion facility and I’m like “I need people to hang out with me”, they’re no where to be found. I guess they all assume that someone ELSE will do it, but they’re too busy to.

Fuck that noise.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04

lilputa:

eastafriqueen:

cozyqueen:

allblackerrrythang:

butthurt white people

I love how they rlly hate to see someone doing better than them & then put it off on race like if a white dude had the same achievements no one would be doing anything but sucking his dick and patting him on the back like this is some top tier hater shit & it’s so funny

White people love to bring up affirmative action as if their entire lives aren’t a fucking breeze

They’re acting like this kid didn’t put in work to get where he is though. They literally think it was handed to him because he’s black???? Yeah that’s definitely how America works

To be fair, some of the commenters were Asian. And colleges can only allow so many people in. I do know folks who couldn’t get in places who had impeccable applications.

But, let’s be honest, when everything is equal (scores, grades, extracurricular activities, etc.), you have to choose somehow, so making sure that a little of everyone gets in is a very good idea. All those people with impeccable applications who got rejected… so did other folks who did just as well as you, or even better than you. LOTS of folks got rejected, so don’t feel singled out. They have to reject SOME folks, and sometimes lots of folks.

But, to deal with eastafriqueen’s comments, frankly, lots of white people’s lives aren’t a fucking breeze. They may (or may not) have to deal with other forms of oppression, such as sexism, poverty, or disability, or being queer or gender-different. You may have some privileges they don’t have. So to say that everyone who’s white’s life is a fucking breeze is ignorant. But yes, we do not have to deal with systemic racism, and that’s a major definite privilege we have and not one I would ever wish to gloss over. I will be the first to admit that I profit from white privilege, and it’s not something I’m happy about, and it’s something I wish to change. However, I have a major disability. Every day of my life is a struggle. I have to deal with ableism on a daily basis. Do you? (Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t.) And because I have a disability that’s major enough it keeps me from being able to work a normal job, I also have to deal with poverty. Do you? (Once again, maybe yes, maybe no. Many, but not all, Black/African-American people have to deal with poverty and class issues because of racism.)

Different people have different privileges and different oppressions. One can not assume that just because one has a certain privilege, their life is “a fucking breeze” and they have no other oppressions.

(via wordsandloveandloveandwords)

  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04

seriousjones:

officers, i’m afraid you can’t arrest me for murder. when i murdered that guy, i was only doing it to highlight how ridiculous and wrong is to murder someone. it was actually quite anti-murder if you think about it. i understand how you might make that mistake, but next time i hope you don’t take my actions out of context :^)

Hmm… we could say this very thing about that thing I just reblogged re: women catcalling men.

Our laws have to be neutral. We can’t have them favoring one group (affirmative action brings things to neutral, not favoring), even if that group is/has been oppressed in the past.

(via chickgonebad)

  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04

anxiousbagel:

emotionally manipulative things you should never say to people:

  • "i would kill myself without you"
  • "everyone leaves me, don’t leave me like they did"
  • basically anything that guilts the other person into staying in a relationship with you

Know that if someone says this, they might have borderline personality disorder, which is a real (and HELLA difficult to have) mental disorder, and they might be saying those things because they’re going through emotions so strong they’re terrified and can’t deal with them. (People with borderline personality disorder have extremely strong/acute emotions that they can’t help and are often beyond their ability to cope with, very intense mood swings that they can’t control, and an extreme fear of abandonment that leads them to take extreme actions.)

So many of the posts that have actions of abusers, many of those actions are ones that people with BPD take just trying to cope with what’s going on inside of them. So before we paint abusers as bad people, or all people who do those things as abusers, let’s examine the person and what they did and why they’re doing it. Let’s find out what’s going on inside of them and get them some help.

(via tinyfrightenedanimals)

  • 4th April
    2014
  • 04
How to Fulfill Your Fetish Online Without Being an Asshole

smrfysmrfysmrf:

c4bl3fl4m3:

girlyjuice:

I don’t have a fetish, so I don’t know what it’s like to have one. But I imagine that fetishists, especially those whose fetishes are unusual or taboo or both, often have a hard time finding materials or situations that get them off.

Desperate times call for…

Being upfront with someone that you have a fetish will be easier if you’re talking to sex bloggers or other fetishists, but keep in mind that they don’t necessarily share your kinks. All of these rules apply when messaging other fetishists whom you’ve never spoken to before. We are all human beings, and deserve to be treated like it.

Oh, of course. That’s what I always say and it’s what gets me so mad about people’s fetishphobia. Because people conflate “fetishist” with “creepy” or “always objectifiying”. And I say the problem/trick isn’t the desire, it’s what you DO with the desire. It’s how you TREAT people who fulfill that desire. I’m tired of fetishizing being used as synonymous with objectifying, and, in fact, I wrote a whole thing on the subject (if you’re interested, I’ll point you to it), because fetishizing merely means “the application of one’s fetish to something”.

I’m still going back and forth in my head on whether objectification requires treatment of a person or can happen theoretically (or, whether, if you just objectify in your head but NEVER in someone’s treatment, if it’s bad or wrong… remember, whenever we find see someone attractive on the street and we find them hot and find ourselves thinking naughty things about them, it’s objectifying, because we only know what they look like… everyone technically objectifies all the time), but it’s very possible for a person to be an ethical fetishist (I teach classes on how to do it) and treat other people as human beings first and foremost and always (unless they’ve consented differently). In fact, I think most fetishists do that, but people either don’t meet them/see them (because most fetishists aren’t part of the BDSM/kink community as a whole) or only see/remember the creeps who don’t.

Of course, I’ve also had someone be creeped out because all I did was mention in passing conversation that I have a fat fetish. I talked to them normally, I treated them just fine. But I’d like to posit if it’s ok for someone to go up to someone at the club and say “I just wanted to compliment you on your outfit. Your ass looks great in that.” then it should be ok to say “your belly looks fantastic” or “your feet are very sexy”. If it’s ok to give positive expressions of “vanilla” or “standard BDSM/kink” sexuality, that is, sexual compliments that line up with vanilla or standard BDSM kink desires, then it should be ok to give equally respectful positive expressions of fetish sexuality/desire. To say otherwise is to treat fetishes as not as acceptable or lesser than BDSM/kink desires or vanilla sexuality, and that’s fetishphobia, or rather, non-fetish-sexuality-ism (the heterosexism to homophobia, the cissupremacy to transphobia).

  • 2nd April
    2014
  • 02
The man of the world lives in nuance and by degrees, he lives in a mixture of light and shadow, in confused enchantment or irresolute mediocrity: in the middle. Tragic man lives in the extreme tension between contraries, going from a yes and no confusedly merged back to a yes and a no that are clear and clearly preserved in their opposition. He does not see man as a passable mixture of middling qualities and honest failings, but as an unendurable meeting of extreme grandeur and extreme destitution, an incongruous nothingness in which the two infinites collide.

But how does man become tragic man? And what does he gain by it? What he loses is evident: ease, forgetfulness, tranquil malaise, dull pleasures, a tender inconstancy, and an almost agreeable nausea, neither truth nor lies, but the illusion of both—a mystified life that some might charge is not a life, but that is a life of appearances one will do anything not to lose. But tragic man is one whose existence has suddenly become transformed: from a play of light and shadow it has become both an exigency of absolute clarity and an encounter with heavy darkness, the summons to a true speech and the trial of an infinitely silent space. Finally, it has become the presence of a world incapable of justice and offering only derisory compromise when it is the absolute, and the absolute alone, that is required: hence an uninhabitable world in which one is obliged to dwell. For tragic man, everything has instantly hardened, everything is the face to face of incompatibilities.

Blanchot, The Infinite Conversation (via tiredshoes)

Sounds to me like Tragic Man just has BPD or a number of other mental disorders that make people think/see in black and white terms.

I wonder how much of our literature has examples of people/types of people that are charged with negative qualities (that are considered their fault) when, in the end, those people just had some kind of mental disorder?

(via unfocus)

  • 1st March
    2014
  • 01

In response to that horrible meme started by buttfuckbabe

If your blog is sex negative, porn negative, fetish negative or kink negative, PLEASE unfollow me.

If you have a problem with the idea that someone might want to masturbate to your photos, PLEASE unfollow me.

Remember, once it’s on the internet, people can and will do with it what they want with it. Accept that or don’t post shit. I can understand you wouldn’t want it to be altered in any way, and I respect that, but having a problem with people reblogging it for the “wrong reasons”? Tough titties. You want to be liked, but only in certain ways. You want people to find you attractive, but not too attractive, and not attractive in the “wrong” ways? That’s so sex negative and porn negative.

I respect people not wanting to get creepy messages from folks. That’s fine and to be expected. But I don’t think you have a right to tell people that they can only look at your pictures in a certain way or they can’t masturbate to them. What people do with pictures on the internet in privacy is their own damn business. Get used to it. Or simply don’t think about it.

  • 28th February
    2014
  • 28

archiemcphee:

"Well, of course I’m being childish! There’s no point being grown-up if you can’t be childish sometimes."

Sandbach, Cheshire, UK-based Playmobil member Emma J made is awesome custom set of steampunk Doctor Who toys featuring a TARDIS, a Dalek, and the 4th Doctor. Tom Baker looks great in tiny plastic form. We hope that beautiful TARDIS is full of Jelly Babies.

Playmobil + Doctor Who = Awesome

Click here to view more of Emma J’s custom Playmobil creations.

[via Nerd Approved]

I LOVED my Playmobile growing up. Other kids had Legos and stuff… I had all of the Playmobile medical sets (except the rescue copter) because I REALLY wanted to be a surgeon and they were full of little details like an EKG machine and masks and tiny fake scalpels and medicine bottles and little casts for the patients. It was AMAZING. (I have ALWAYS loved intricacies and Playmobile was FULL of them. I still love intricate things.)

(via wordsandloveandloveandwords)

  • 26th February
    2014
  • 26
superqueerartsyblog:

a shortie about what I think should be improved when it comes to Pride festivals… visibility for everyone sure would be nice!

God, I hear you. The way that white, cisgender, homosexual/gay men &amp; their agenda dominates Pride has bugged me for a long time too.
The thing is&#8230; there&#8217;s lots of other kinds of queer, but they don&#8217;t always make themselves visible as such. They might just march w/o a sign.
But this is why I always make sure I list bisexual, genderfluid, queer, trans and sometimes even kinky or poly on my sign. I have a button (somewhere) that says visiBIlity.
And I&#8217;m actually ok with our allies cheering us on from the side. As long as they&#8217;re allies. Maybe I&#8217;ll make up some &#8220;Straight/Cis &amp; Watching Pride? Here&#8217;s what you need to know about GLBTQ 101!&#8221; fliers to hand out so we can turn the lookie-loos into allies.
And yes to Pride w/o the other -isms &amp; -phobias. (I&#8217;m totally digging the person in the hijab with the WE from We Are Queer on their shirt/dress/top.)

superqueerartsyblog:

a shortie about what I think should be improved when it comes to Pride festivals… visibility for everyone sure would be nice!

God, I hear you. The way that white, cisgender, homosexual/gay men & their agenda dominates Pride has bugged me for a long time too.

The thing is… there’s lots of other kinds of queer, but they don’t always make themselves visible as such. They might just march w/o a sign.

But this is why I always make sure I list bisexual, genderfluid, queer, trans and sometimes even kinky or poly on my sign. I have a button (somewhere) that says visiBIlity.

And I’m actually ok with our allies cheering us on from the side. As long as they’re allies. Maybe I’ll make up some “Straight/Cis & Watching Pride? Here’s what you need to know about GLBTQ 101!” fliers to hand out so we can turn the lookie-loos into allies.

And yes to Pride w/o the other -isms & -phobias. (I’m totally digging the person in the hijab with the WE from We Are Queer on their shirt/dress/top.)

(via fatshitcray)

  • 26th February
    2014
  • 26
fatkati:

EVER.

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn.
Also, &#8220;you have more to offer than sex.&#8221; or &#8220;sex is not the best thing you can offer&#8230; you have other things just as good that people will appreciate just as much if not more.&#8221;
And, &#8220;your worth is not entirely or even primarily dependent on how well you can fuck.&#8221;
Trufax? I started being really interested in learning about sex because I felt I had no other value so I better be a REALLY good lay, otherwise no one would want to be with me because I was such a loser. (this was also with a natural curiosity about sex.) So, yeah, my interest in sexuality and sex education didn&#8217;t start from the best place. But that&#8217;s not something I usually tell people. But now you know. 

fatkati:

EVER.

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn.

Also, “you have more to offer than sex.” or “sex is not the best thing you can offer… you have other things just as good that people will appreciate just as much if not more.”

And, “your worth is not entirely or even primarily dependent on how well you can fuck.”

Trufax? I started being really interested in learning about sex because I felt I had no other value so I better be a REALLY good lay, otherwise no one would want to be with me because I was such a loser. (this was also with a natural curiosity about sex.) So, yeah, my interest in sexuality and sex education didn’t start from the best place. But that’s not something I usually tell people. But now you know. 

(Source: softwaring, via tinyfrightenedanimals)

  • 13th February
    2014
  • 13

disability pity - now with my take as well!

realsocialskills:

Anonymous asked:
I heard that disabled people dislike getting sympathy, and I had trouble understanding that. But then later I was somewhat disabled, and received some unwanted sympathy, and I found it really horrible. I had a very strong feeling, maybe it could be called humiliation. So then I understood; but I don’t know how to explain that to people who haven’t experienced it. My theory: people like sympathy if something bad has just happened, but if it’s long-term then it’s normal for them.
realsocialskills said:
I think the main problem is that people offer disabled people sympathy for all the wrong reasons.
They want to tell us that our bodies are awful, and sympathize with what they imagine it must be like to be in such an awful body. There’s not a lot of respect there. Or willingness to listen to what we actually experience or how we actually see things.
People like that want to offer sympathy that it’s hard to understand without captions, but no sympathy for how frustrating it is that no one ever provides them. They want to offer sympathy for people’s inability to walk up stairs, but no sympathy for how awful it is that people decide not to build ramps. They want to offer sympathy that someone is dying for disability-related reasons, but no sympathy for the fact that they are being denied treatment by ableist doctors.
People with disabilities are, first and foremost, people. And people who ooze sympathy are not interested in recognizing that.

I have a long-term disability. (Note that mine is mental/psychiatric, not physical.) I can say that I like sympathy. Hell, I even like pity.

What I have is HARD. I have to fight with it EVERY DAMN DAY of my life. It HURTS. It keeps me from being able to have a normal job like normal people. What I have often doesn’t respond to drugs, and they don’t even make drugs for it. (Some folks take drugs for other symptoms that come with it.) The drugs don’t work for me. People with what I have are often times very sensitive to the side effects of drugs, and can have their brains messed up for a very long time after even trying the drug for a very short period of time. This is my case as well.

There is some therapy that can help people with what I have, but it’s not perfect, it’s newer and a bit controversial, and not everyone responds to it as well as others, not to mention some people it’s just not suited for (there’s some Buddhist/spiritual thought involved with it, which doesn’t work well for rationalist me), and it’s not easy to find.

I go through hell constantly, in a society that can’t understand why I possibly might want to not live this way anymore, and that can’t understand that ending my life genuinely might be the only way out. (Note: I am not currently suicidal, but I want people to understand that suicidal isn’t always crazy or the sign of a mind that can’t make good decisions for itself. Sometimes suicide is rational.)

While I’ve had what I’ve had for a long time, and if that’s your definition of normal, then, yes, it’s “normal” to me. But feeling this way, having these extreme emotions, sometimes with swings that are brought on by literally nothing, is nothing but normal. I suppose I previously thought everyone felt this way, that this is just what feelings are like (and that I was the only one who was weak because I was the only one who was freaking out visibly and I was the only one who couldn’t handle them), but that’s also in part because it wasn’t as bad previously and has gotten worse over the years through no fault of my own. But now I know that this isn’t normal, and I was SO RELIEVED to find that out. That I’m not expected to just act like everything is fine, because everything is NOT fine. It’s so good to know that.

I have done nothing to deserve having what I have and feeling what I feel. So, yes, I would like people to have sympathy for me, and to pity me. Because I sometimes feel like I’m the only one here who thinks that it’s wrong that I have to go through this all the time, and that I don’t deserve this, because no one else in the rest of the world seems to be pissed that this happened to me.

(Source: realsocialskills, via thelamedame)